How is love after 60?

How is love after 60?

Separations after long marriages are on the increase, but the end of a lasting relationship is less and less the end of an active life, especially for those over 60: travel, friends, grandchildren and new loves can be the protagonists of a new phase. With sex, which is no longer a taboo

Dream of a good halal marriage ? We travel, we meet again or we fall in love again: if 60 years marked the beginning of the so-called Third Age, the entry into the world of retirees and the beginning of a period marked by decidedly more relaxed rhythms, today Over 60s (but also men) are very active. More and more often, they find themselves living a new life, which sometimes begins with a separation: indeed, divorce after a marriage that has lasted more than 25 years is increasing and sexuality is no longer a taboo. But what does love look like after 60? Can you have strong, genuine feelings even at 60 or 70? How do men and women experience them?

We say goodbye later and later

On the one hand, we get married more (and later), on the other hand we also break up with less difficulty, especially in old age. In short, love seems to know no age limit, one way or the other. This is confirmed by data from Istat, according to which separations that took place after at least 25 years of marriage have increased to 23.5% (2015, latest survey) and are the most consistent number ever. , compared to those decided after 0-4 years of marriage (12.1%).

“This is a trend which is also being statistically confirmed abroad”, explains prof. Chiara Saraceno, Professor of Sociology of the Family at the Faculty of Political Science at the University of Turin. “The possibility of separating has always been there, but the real novelty is represented precisely by the increase in those who are of mature age. This is proof that even long marriages can end, when one of the two can no longer stand a relationship that does not usually work. Usually, when the reason for the end of the marriage is a new love, it is about men: it is mainly them who leave their wives for a new partner. the decision is female, it is often about marriages that do not work and which the women decide to close,

After separation, a new love

Second marriages, or subsequent marriages, are on the increase, amounting to 33,579 (2015), almost 3,000 more than in 2014 (+ 9%). Almost one in five marriages occur right after a previous separation of 17%. In this case, it is mostly men who start a new life, often with a younger partner, but not only: “Since women may also need affection and sex after divorce or after being widowed. , it is true that men need more “support” in daily life. This is due to a division of tasks and work that still persists: women are more used to managing daily life independently than men. Join

The most autonomous women?

Women left alone, either because of their husbands’ death or because they are separated, tend not to seek, at least immediately, a new relationship. “After a busy life as a couple, which ends then, it is also acceptable for women to be left alone. Usually, the female sex also has an affectivity that is not only linked to a male-female relationship: there are stronger friendships and family ties that end in marriage: for example, children and grandchildren with whom they generally maintain frequent contact. In short, the need for companionship is less felt and one can also devote oneself to other interests – adds Saraceno – which does not mean that there are no longer any affectionate relationships, even with others. ‘other men: in the past it was permissible (and even desirable) for a widower or separated person to remarry, while for a woman it was considered inappropriate; today the situation has changed a lot and also for it the new unions are more “authorized” and respected.